Wow, is it almost the middle of February already?? I absolutely love my life, but boy it seems to be rushing by at the moment. Always something to do and people to talk to and I wouldn’t have it any other way. With my eldest little man starting school this year and my business getting busier and busier this has been my mantra for 2014 so far:
I am always looking for inspiration; for new ideas, sub-ceremonies, readings and quotes for all the gorgeous couples that I work with. Because I am a young celebrant that prides herself on creating unique fresh ceremonies, I love finding new ideas and wedding trends that I can use in my work.
I have always looked at doing things in a fresh and different way and that is why I studied to be an Interior Decorator/Designer after I left school. I loved working in that field, but I wanted more. I wanted to do a job that was truly significant. Picking curtain fabrics and paint colours didn’t feel whole enough for me as a profession for life. Sure, I created uplifting, beautiful spaces but I wanted more than that. I went on to work on Hayman Island as a Deckhand/Hostess for Sunsail. Now that was the dream job that I never thought existed. I stepped onboard a 43-foot luxury catamaran everyday and got to chat with people from all over the world while I introduced them to the Great Barrier Reef and sipped a few champagnes. I love people, I love new experiences and I love champagne (of course) – that occupation fit me like a glove for a couple years.
As I reached the end of my second year on Hayman I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis and I had a few inner battles with my health that I had to sort out. In that journey I started to look at taking another path that I thought would make a significant difference. I was considering studying to become a Naturopath. Dealing with my arthritis and the fact that I have had to look at so many options to do with my health and diet made me passionate about clean eating and a clean lifestyle. I really wanted to spread the word, but I felt that I was not totally suited to that role and the study involved.
Meanwhile the Naturopath College that I was looking at in Sydney also offered Celebrancy courses. As I looked through the brochure it caught my attention. I kept tossing it around in my thoughts as I worked myself into the ground managing a furniture store in Sydney. Celebrancy …….mmmmm…. love, people, celebration, creative writing, getting dressed up and weddings… I LOVE WEDDINGS. I am the one that always cries (in a cool non-soppy way of course) and gets so excited in the lead up to and during any wedding!! I can’t think of a better thing to celebrate than love and family unity. My parents have been together for 35 years and my grandparents for over 60 years. I have seen them take on everything as a team and get through it with love, support and tolerance – that to me is so important. So officiating the union of a man and a woman in love felt like the most significant job that I could do and it fit my personality perfectly. So I became a Marriage Celebrant.
So now that you know a little more about my journey to this point I want to share with you some ideas on the ceremony itself – mainly the writing of the vows. Now I want to acknowledge at this point that writing your own vows is not for everyone. Because my ceremonies are custom built to reflect the couple and their love I never ever push anyone to do anything that is too far out of their comfort zone. Some people are private people and prefer to keep their true intimate thoughts and feelings for private time with each other. It really does not suit some people to profess their undying love and affection in front of all of their friends and family.
I really love it when people do choose to write their own vows because it creates a truly touching moment. That little bit of vulnerability and intimacy creates a closer bond between the loved ones attending the ceremony and the couple getting married. It gives a tiny window into the true affection that they have for one another.
Of course, I have never met two couples the same Everyone sets up and continues with their relationship differently. I have had funny couples, serious couples, couples that share lots of common interests and couples that only really share core values and that is it. All of their vows reflect them. Some have been side splittingly funny and some very touching and intimate. Some straight out of “The Notebook” and some so passionate that you want to cry. But the thing they all have in common is that they are all from their own hearts no one else’s. The person standing opposite to them “gets it” and that’s all that matters.
So many couples I speak to find it so daunting coming up with the right words to express the love they feel for the person they are marrying as a vow. I have come to realise that expressing their love is not the problem – it is the words “Wedding Vows” that are the problem. It is the pressure that these words create. If you could take the words “Wedding Vows” out of the equation and just send your fiancé a text message with how much you love them and what it is about them that makes you feel that way, what would you say ?? What would you write? With Valentines Day coming up at the end of the week, what words would make you buy one Valentines Day card over another card? What made you fall for that person right at the beginning? What are the qualities that you need and absolutely can’t live without in that person? These words are your vows.
Then the next step is easy. You send these words to your hopeless romantic, realist celebrant Vicky and she will help you with the formatting of these words without judgement and make sure you are happy with them.
Most of the time, all of us have done this process throughout all stages in our relationships and haven’t thought twice about it, but when we have to do it for our wedding vows it’s scary. Trust me though when I say that you will never go wrong when you speak the words of you heart and mind combined. Everyone attending your wedding loves you both ( that is why you have invited them, after all ) and they will love anything personal that you write.
Just have a go and you will find that it is worth it…